A Challenge for Tugger
by AziCat
Summary: Misto has broken up with Tugger. 2 months later Tugger asks him what he can do to win Misto back - Slash, obviously!
1. Chapter 1

This is my first Cats fanfiction and the first time I've written a story in English (if you find any mistakes in my language, please let me know).

For the purpose of this story, I assume that among jellicles, the most common form of relationship is an open relationship, so while the cats might have mates, they are free to sleep with cats other than their mate – some opt to be exclusive anyway, some make ample use of that freedom. Watching the DVD this was my impression about the relationships portrayed there.

And btw, the jellicles have basically antropomorph forms but are seen as ordinary cats by humans (not that it is really important, I just wanted to point that out).

**Chapter 1**

Misto was relaxing on top of a pile of tyres, watching Tugger enjoy the attentions of Bombalurina and Electra. A longing smile played around his lips, which vanished as soon as Victoria jumped up next to him. She looked in the same direction.

"Please tell me you are not watching him again, Misto."

"I'm not. He's an idiot."

"Yes, I noticed. So why have you been watching him all day?"

"Have not."

"Have too." Victoria paused. "If you are not busy watching him, do you want to come for a walk with Plato and me?"

Misto cast one look in Tugger's direction, a bit torn. But it really did not do to be caught watching his ex-mate. Especially because Tugger had seen them now and was nodding in their direction. He hurried to follow Victoria.

Tugger had Misto had been lovemates for close to three months – Misto would like to say they were the happiest three months of his life, but that would have been a lie. The first month had been okay. Tugger was not exactly giving Misto more attention than before, when they had just been friends. The least Misto expected from his mate was daily conversation beyond "Hello" and "Bye" but some days Tugger really just greeted him along with everyone else when he arrived and acknowledged him when he left. The second month had been better; actually Misto was quite happy that month fuelled by the hope that things might work out and they would be happy together. Tugger had started to spend more time with him; cats had started to notice that there was something between them. The third month had been miserable, Tugger had complained half of the time that Misto was too clingy and the rest of the time Misto had complained that Tugger didn't pay him any attention. In the end, it had been Misto who dumped Tugger but at that point they hadn't really been together anymore. The rest of the jellicles believed that Tugger had ditched Misto which excited reaction ranging from pity, especially from the younger cats, and condescension – most of the conversations after the break-up with Skimble, Jenny, Jellyorum, Demeter and Admetus could be easily summed up with "I could have told you so, it was stupid to expect he would settle down."

Misto hadn't expected Tugger to settle down. He would have liked to have some kittens by a queen later on and raise them with Tugger, as most gay cats did at some point, or adopt some kittens whose parents had passed away or were overwhelmed. But he would have been willing to forget that idea or do it on his own, if Tugger would have decided not to take that responsibility. He had expected him, however, to pay a bit more attention to him than to, say, Etcetera, and he had expected some show of respect and affection. He could accept, grudgingly, that Tugger didn't like cuddles and sometime in the first month he had stopped looking for them. But he had missed reassurance that Tugger was in love with him. The whole three months the words "in love" let alone "love" had never fallen.

"Seriously, it's been two months now. That is nearly as long as you have ever been 'together'".

Misto sighed. "Yes, Victoria. I know. I got over it."

Why couldn't his sister leave it alone? No, while they were looking for her bloody mate – her affectionate, respectful, handsome mate – she kept pestering him with his own failed relationship. Unfortunately, her preaching delayed them and when they finally found Plato, he had already been found by Tugger. Plato's one minor fault was his hero-worship for Tugger although even there Misto had to credit him with being very polite and sensitive, never mentioning Tugger when Misto was near and after Victoria had started avoiding him, he had been hesitantly doing the same. So why was he talking to him now? Plato looked apologetically at Victoria who scowled. Tugger ignored the irritation of the two younger cats and just smiled at them.

"Hey Victoria. Hey Misto."

"Hi," they both forced out.

"Anyway …" Plato said, obviously a bit nervous. "Vicky, Misto and I were just going for a walk, looking at what the humans are doing at that new building site …"

"Good idea. Do you mind if I join you?"

Plato was too dumbfounded to say anything, and unfortunately Victoria and Mistoffelees had been brought up to be very polite, so they found themselves nodding while their faces plainly spelt the message that they minded very much. But while they walked, Victoria stuck next to Misto ignoring all Tugger's attempt to separate them. It must have looked funny to any humans watching, two tiny cats walking so close they were nearly touching, a Main Coone whose fur made him look nearly twice the size attempting to casually walk beside them, constantly forced to stop when they walked close to an edge, while another large cat was desperately trying to catch the Main Coon's attention. When they were nearly back at the yard, Tugger seemed have reached the end of his patience.

"Look, Misto, could you give me 5 minutes of your precious time? I want to talk to you."

He looked hesitantly to his sister, who was nearly hissing with indignation and Plato who appeared to be extremely uncomfortable. Against his better judgement, he nodded, fearing the explosion if he let Tugger and Victoria remain in close proximity any longer.

Tugger led him away a bit – sensitive as he always was, to the spot where they had first mated. Misto nearly turned around right then and there, but Tugger grabbed his arm.

"Misto, please, listen to me."

"What do you want Tugger?"

"Why have you been avoiding me?" Tugger asked instead. "I have been trying to catch you alone for bloody days."

"You could have asked to speak to me any time, couldn't you?"

"Yes. Well. Have you been avoiding me on purpose?"

"No." It wasn't even a lie; he hadn't noticed that Tugger wanted to talk to him.

"Misto, listen, I have been thinking, about all that happened and how it ended and … I believe, it could actually work if we try again."

Misto was speechless for some moments. "You want us to be mates again?" He asked, incredulity tingeing every syllable.

"Yes. I want you back, Misto."

"Back for what." He scoffed. "Is your pride hurt because it was me who broke up? Do you want me to give you the chance to do it yourself?"

"No! Nobody believes you dumped me anyway, not even your precious sister, right?"

Trust Tugger to find the sore spot in Misto's dignity. It was miserable to think that no jellicle thought him capable of ditching the great Rum Tum Tugger. No, they all preferred to think he was a weak-willed little wimp who was hopelessly devoted to his (ex-)mate. He just grumbled in response.

"Misto, believe me, I didn't pretend I dumped you. I even told Munkustrap the truth."

"How generous of you."

Now Tugger scowled. "What did you expect me to do, Misto? Run around telling everyone you left me and let everyone see how much it hurt?"

"It hurt?" Misto laughed in derision. "Don't tell me you haven't been close to leaving me, if you didn't consider us to be split already anyway."

"I wasn't and I didn't." Tugger's voice went oddly quiet. "Why would I have left you?"

"Because it wasn't working? If I remember correctly, you thought it too much to lay beside me for 5 minutes at a time without feeling on the edge. And in the last two weeks, you spend more nights with Bombalurina than with me, if my count is correct. Or maybe it was Electra; she was quite a favourite then, wasn't she. Bombalurina had become too easy. Like me."

He thought he heard Tugger wince, but that must be his imagination. "Yes, I know my behaviour was a bit less than perfect, but I can do better. I promise."

"No, Tugger, you can't. I don't expect much from a mate, but more than you can give."

Tugger was quiet for a bit, but unfortunately he still held on to Misto's arm.

"And if I prove I can?"

"How would you do that?"

Tugger looked at him intently, silence descending on them again, then he pulled Misto closer.

"Misto, is there someone else you'd rather have as a mate, than me?"

Misto tried looking away, but Tugger used his other hand to force him to look at him. Someone had to tell Tugger that using force had not been an accepted way to woo for several generations. He cast his eyes down, unwilling to tell a lie.

"Not at the moment. But I am happy without mate too."

"You still have feelings for me, haven't you? I know you are still watching me."

Misto refused to answer, feeling increasingly uncomfortable at being restrained by his ex-mate. Tugger waited a moment, then he pulled Misto even closer. He tensed and started to get ready to fight Tugger, with magic if need be.

"Calm down Misto. I only want to know what I can do to get you back."

"I …" Misto thought quickly. He had to find something outrageously hard, to discourage Tugger. "Okay. No sleeping with any cat for one month. And no flirting. That's all I can think of for now. If I can think of something else, I may add to the rules at any time. If you succeed, I'll be your mate again."

Tugger took a moment to digest that. "Okay. But – agree to be my mate for at least three month again before you dump me. No leaving me again after one day just because you had to become my mate."

Misto gulped, but nodded. "Okay, you won't have any sexual contact with any cat nor flirt with any cat for a month, rules might be added, and if you win, I'll be your mate for at least three months."

"Or forever." Tugger smiled and pulled one of Misto's paws to his mouth. "In a month." 

Tugger left swinging his hips. Misto sat himself down on an old table, a bit dazed. Tugger wanted him back! That smile he gave him when he said 'forever' – it reminded him of the way Tugger had smiled at him when they first got together. He remembered the time when Tugger had sought a nickname for Misto, coming up with ridiculous names like "Sparkly", "Sparkles", "Little angel", "Twinkle star" … Misto had giggled at all of them, making his rejection of them a bit less than convincing and Tugger occasionally used them to get that annoyed but happy reaction out of Misto. Could it work again? The thought of being back in Tugger's arms was enticing. He was still in a happy mood when he walked back to the yard himself.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"You agreed to WHAT?" Victoria was outraged, her normally aloof and haughty air destroyed. "Misto, are you out of your mind? Am I to pick up the pieces again? You've never been as miserable in your life as when you became his mate, and you agreed to try again?"

"I didn't!" Misto replied indignantly, his pose making up for any lack of haughtiness on his sister's part. "I said I would be his mate, if he can prove he's serious."

"He's seriously pissed because you dumped him and he is always after that which he can't have." Victoria using colloquialisms like 'pissed' was indication for the intensity of her anger. Misto had to admit she had a point, although it stung a little bit. Tugger had seemed to be serious when he had claimed, that he would never have dumped Misto. It was nice to imagine, that Tugger might actually love him. But Victoria was right, of course. He forced himself to laugh sardonically.

"Vicky, do you believe he can actually stay celibate for a whole month? I've never known him to go without mating for more than two days. Four days when he is sick."

"Well, it is hard to believe but he is getting quite a price. No part of the agreement said he had to keep up his good behaviour for the next three month, right?"

"No", Misto admitted a bit sheepishly. They both silently watched Tugger sitting with his brother.

"He said he wouldn't have left me, he wouldn't have seen a reason," he offered, realizing that he was letting his sister see that he actually wanted Tugger back. Victoria snorted, something that an elegant cat like her really shouldn't attempt.

"I guess there wasn't. He didn't change his behaviour, but could run to you whenever he felt that a relationship would be nice. He wasn't investing anything in the relationship, so why give it up?"

Misto winced, but nodded obediently. 

Four days later, cats started to notice the difference in Tugger's behaviour. When Misto joined his friends, they were anxiously debating if Tugger, or as Etcetera preferred to call him, "Tugsie", was seriously ill. Not immediately getting the reason for that rumour, he was naïve enough to ask what made them think so, worrying a bit about his ex.

"He has avoided all of us – and he didn't sleep with any cat for four days!" Etcetera revealed dramatically. Pouncival nodded.

"Yes, I mean not even when he was with you …" he stopped himself, noticing what he was saying and they all went silent. Misto smiled, hoping to be at last able to display that he was not poor little naïve Misto, who couldn't get over his ex.

"When he was with me, he was worse than before, because he had someone to run away from," he said and they all laughed, very embarrassed. Etcetera soon came back to the point.

"But now he is not doing it with anyone! He must be seriously ill!"

"Cettie, it's only been four days," Electra said, calming her friend. "I am sure he will be back to normal tomorrow, maybe even Tugger gets sick of mating occasionally."

They all looked at Tugger, who was dozing on the car, looking quite healthy.

Six days in, Victoria joined Misto as he was practising to moderate his magic a bit apart from everyone. Not that he had never been in the habit of doing it, but during the last days he had rarely spend any time at the yard, not sure if he should hope or fear that Tugger succumbed to temptation.

"Plato has started asking me, if I knew anything about Tugger's 'change'."

Misto sighed, and sat down next to her.

"Tugger's still playing monk?"

"Yes."

"No flirting?"

"No flirting. He pretended not to understand any of Cassandra's insinuations just now. It was quite funny actually, but now she is angry because we laughed at her. He's gone to hunt now, apparently. Alone."

"Do you think he can do it?" Misto asked.

"Don't get your hopes up."

"I know, I know." He zapped an old can. "But 6 days is more than I would have given him."

Victoria laughed. "He is stubborn. But he won't make one month."

Misto nodded mutely. He knew she hoped he wouldn't make it.

Day six had been the last day Tugger was actually at the jellicle clearing. On day seven, Tugger had left as soon as he saw Misto, day eight he turned up to greet his brother and disappeared again. Day nine and ten were repeats of day eight. Misto wasn't quite sure what he should think about that. Victoria was. She was full of indignation, complaining that Tugger cheated, by avoiding temptation. And, she also pointed out, who knew what he was doing out there. Misto could hardly keep track of the whereabouts of every cat of the tribe, and of course Grizabella had not been the only outcast. So who knew … Misto listened miserably to her rant. He remembered the first time, she had found out how unhappy he was.

*  
They had been together for not even a month. Misto had come to the yard full of hope of spending time with his mate. But Tugger had been busy seducing Cassandra who pretended to be coy. He hadn't noticed Misto. A bit later, Misto was dancing with Mungojerrie and Pouncival; Tugger had walked past them, and greeted Misto who stopped what he was doing. But then Munk had called for Tugger, and with a quick smile Tugger had walked off. From Munk Tugger had gone back to Cassandra and disappeared into her little den. He had found some lame excuse for Mungojerrie and Pouncival and went hiding in a pipe. There Victoria found him a bit later.

"Misto? Are you ill?"

"No."

She crept nearer. "Misto? You are not crying, are you?"

"No." He wasn't, but that was due to a tremendous effort of suppressing his tears. And of course Victoria could hear that in his voice. His twin sister was just too good at reading him.

She nuzzled him. "Is it Tugger?"

He just nodded.

"This …" Back then, Victoria hadn't found the right words, but she had hugged him. It was the first of many times she had to comfort her brother and her resentment grew.

He was recalled to the present, when Victoria nudged him. "Hey, you can add extra conditions, can't you?"

"Yes?"

"Tell him he is not to avoid everyone anymore. That's cheating."

"But …"

"Misto … you have to protect yourself."

He sighed, but nodded. Victoria probably really knew better than him. Victoria was not quite so fatally attracted to Tugger's cheeky smile, the way Tugger's voice changed when he had called Misto's name, the way … he shook his head to get rid of those memories. And went in search of Tugger.

He finally found him dozing not too far away from the clearing but out of sight on the top of a pile of old furniture. He started to climb up and Tugger looked down when he heard somebody approaching. Upon seeing Misto, he smiled.

"Hey Misto. I am doing well, aren't I?"

"You're cheating," Misto said, coming up next to him and noting quite pleased how Tugger's face fell. "Avoiding everyone is cheating."

"No, it is not!" Tugger exclaimed. "You always accused me of being attention-seeking and not able to be alone, haven't you? I've never been on my own so much."

Misto felt himself wavering, but then he remembered how hurt he had felt when they were together. Tugger is trying to manipulate you, he reminded himself sternly.

"You remember we agreed I can add extra conditions, right?"

"Yes." Tugger sighed audibly. "Let me guess. I have to stay in the clearing?"

Misto nodded, and Tugger got up slowly. "Walk with me?" he suggested.

Misto hesitated. "If they see us together, they are going to think I am extra stupid."

"Why?" Tugger feigned surprise. He had to feigning it. Nobody could be that stupid.

"Why? Poor little Misto, heartbroken, thought he could get Tugger back by succumbing to him again."

"Or they are going to think 'now we know why Tugger avoided everyone. Poor Tugger.'"

"Nobody will ever think 'poor Tugger.'" Misto gave back angrily, but was surprised when Tugger's face twisted into a smile more sardonic than he had ever seen.

"No, they won't will they?" Tugger turned around and jumped off demonstrating how cats could land on their feet even after a high drop and walked off towards the clearing, not even casting a look back. Misto remained on the spot for a while. What had Tugger meant?


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 – in the moment I am actually so busy that I really shouldn't even have time to write. I wrote most of this story in the bus on the way to university. So unfortunately I don't have time to read or review other stories, hopefully I will have time to do that again in January.

**Chapter 3**

Twelve days in, Misto was approached by Munkustrap, who was looking serious. Misto fought the urge to flee. Had Munkustrap come to tell him off for treating his little brother like that? Munk had been rather cold towards him ever since he had broken up with Tugger. One private little thing he had learned in his short time with Tugger was that while Munkustrap reacted annoyed to most of what Tugger did in public as expected from his role as protector, Munk had a serious weakness for his baby brother. Despite said baby brother being bigger than himself he still felt extra-protective of him. Munk was willing to battle Macavity for the tribe, but he would be willing to battle Everlasting Cat for Tugger – he'd battle Everlasting Cat for Demeter or Jemima too, but he had a rather more realistic picture of them. In Munk's eyes Tugger was a tiny fluffy vulnerable kitten and all his little faults could be attributed to the adorable exuberance of said little kitten's pure and affectionate heart. Misto hadn't been born when Tugger was a tiny kitten, but he rather doubted that had ever been a realistic picture. Actually, Munk was probably responsible for the spoilt way Tugger was acting. Old Deuteronomy had been old when Tugger was born, Tugger's mother died before Tugger's eyes opened and adolescent Munk had taken charge of raising the kitten, battling against older cats who felt that he was too young.

Misto was starting to feel a bit guilty himself about the effects of his challenge to Tugger. He was quite convinced that if Munk knew about it, he would be livid. But when Munk came closer, he noted quite relieved a lack of anger. Munk rather seemed worried.

"Misto, have you noticed that Tugger seems to be acting oddly?" he asked without waiting to exchange the usual greetings. Misto nodded uncomfortably.

"Yes?" he offered.

"Do you have any idea what caused it?"

"Err ... why would I?" Misto prayed to the Everlasting Cat that in voice wasn't quite as high-pitched in reality as in his imagination.

"Well, I was afraid that it might be something magic … I actually wanted to ask Coricocat and Tamomile but they are not here today. I wonder if something has happened to him, all cats are a bit magic, aren't we, and if somebody decided …"

To his amazement Misto realized that Munk was babbling.

"No, Munk, I am sure Tugger is under no spell. Why would he?"

"Oh, I don't know, I thought maybe one of the younger cats got it into their head to try a love-spell and something went wrong or something …"

Misto laughed. "Munk, trust me, love-spells are much too hard for any of the cats here to succeed. Nobody has made Tugger impotent, I am sure."

Munk smiled embarrassed. "It was a fleeting thought, but I admit I got a bit worried. I tried to ask him again and again what was wrong, and he claims that everything is just normal. But it isn't. I know, after you broke up with him, he was …" Munk stopped himself. "Sorry Misto, I babble. Maybe you could ask him, what's wrong though? You have been friends, after all."

Misto sighed and nodded in agreement. "I will. Thank you for your trust."

"You're welcome?"

Misto laughed. "You didn't suspect me of having done something to him." 

He found Tugger idly playing with a fat beetle. Electra was just walking away from him, by the look of her in frustration. Tugger had become quite good at deflecting flirtatious remarks, which was entertaining in itself.

"Tugger."

"Misto." Tugger let the beetle go. "How can I help you today?"

Misto winced a bit at Tugger's irony.

"Munk really worries about you, Tugger."

"I know." Tugger sighed. "Please don't tell me he talked to you about it?"

Misto chuckled a little bit. His older brother's solicitude embarrassed Tugger occasionally. "He did. He seemed to worry that somebody had put a spell on you to make you impotent."

"He …" Tugger laughed out loud. "So that is what he was trying to insinuate before! How could I be that dense?"

"No comment." Tugger laughed some more and Misto joined in.

"Seriously, Munk is just too damn inhibited to ask even me a straight question about something like that. He should know me well enough to know that after one week with that problem, I would have given up and come to him crying for help."

Misto was silent for a while. "Why didn't you tell him the truth?"

"Why didn't I what?" Tugger sobered up in surprise.

"Why didn't you tell him, you thought of getting back to me and my condition was to show me, that you can make a sacrifice for me?"

"It is none of his business."

"I told Victoria."

"Thank you very much." Tugger grumbled now, snatching another beetle to annoy. "This whole challenge isn't humiliation enough, is it?"

"You think it would be humiliating to tell Munk you want me back?"

"He knows that", Tugger bit back. "I just didn't feel it necessary to let him know I've been rejected. Not quite unlike you, I don't like being pitied."

That silenced Misto for a bit.

"I think you should tell him anyway."

"Why should I?" Tugger seemed quite menacing now and Misto had to force himself not to crouch in defence.

"He worries about you and he loves you."

"Yes, he does. That's why I don't want him to know."

Misto felt himself melting a little bit. Tugger actually sounded wistful. A little voice inside him was louder though. *He won't tell Munk, because no matter how much Munk loves him, he won't be happy to know he plans to hurt you.*

"If you want me to believe you are serious, you talk to him", he spat out without thinking.

Tugger looked at him with anger flashing in his eyes. This time Misto backed away. But Tugger was already lowering his eyes in defeat.

"Fine. I didn't think you could be that cruel, Misto."

He slunk away, making his way to Munk. Misto actually felt miserable now. He hadn't thought of his words as a command or part of his challenge, they had just come out. And seeing Tugger so miserable hurt him. 

Whatever Tugger had told Munk, it wasn't in Misto's favour. The way Munk looked at him now made Misto want to run and hide. Two days after his talk with Tugger, he had actually run away or rather, as he told himself, he had gone to look for a place to practice magic. He had just managed to teleport himself into an old box, when he heard someone approaching. And a short while later, he heard Munk's voice calling "Tugger."

The person near him stopped. "Munk."

"Tugger, please tell me you haven't been looking for Misto?"

Tugger remained silent.

"Hasn't he forbidden you to leave the clearing anyway?"

"He isn't there to see it, is he?" Tugger sounded rather defensive.

"Oh Tugger …" Misto suppressed a sneeze as Munk let himself fall on the box, causing dust to fall down. "So what have you been doing here anyway?"

There was a pause, then Tugger laughed sharply, letting himself drop onto the box too. "I've followed Misto, of course. I lost him though."

"Why would you look for him?" Now there was a question that interested Misto too.

"I wanted to talk to him. We're halfway through and he still seems unhappy."

"While you are a bundle of joy." Munkustrap sarcasm was rarely heard like that among other cats.

"If the idea that he has to take me back, makes him that unhappy …"

"You are backing out?" Munk's voice was pathetically hopeful.

"I don't know. I don't want to see him unhappy, but I believe …"

"Tugger, stop telling yourself that that cat has any feelings for you!" Munk's exasperated voice hinted at a history of repeating that sentence to Tugger. "He probably never had and never will. No cat who respects you, let alone loves you, would demand something silly like that! And then he has the cheek to accuse you of not having shown respect."

"Maybe I didn't and this is his way of getting back?"

"That is still no basis to a relationship, as I have told you countless times Tugger. Can you answer my question now?"

"Which one?"

"How will your relationship work after you submitted to him like this? Can you ever have an equal relationship?"

"He will know I love him." Tugger sounded rather defensive now. Misto went rigid with shock right underneath him.

"And magically return that love, treating you as equal after having bossed you around for a month and most likely getting a kick out of the power he has over you." Munk gave back. Tugger growled.

"I knew why I didn't tell you."

"The only thing I approve of all the things Misto did to you, is forcing you to tell me! Seriously, Tugger do you expect me to stand by and see my little brother being kicked around by a pretentious little …" A growl interrupted him again.

"Don't talk about Misto like that, Munk." There was some noise suggesting Tugger got up. "He is a good cat."

"Maybe he should prove that too." Munk got up too, and when he spoke next his voice was noticeably softer. "Tugger, I am sorry I talked like that. It pains me to see you suffering when I am powerless to do anything about it."

"I know." Tugger's voice had softened too. "I take care of myself, I promise. But I will get Misto back, no matter what." 

Long after they left, Misto was still frozen with shock. His world had just been turned upside down. Even his Anti-Tugger voice had trouble coming up with reasonable explanations why Tugger would have lied to Munk about his feelings. But – if Tugger loved him, why had their relationship gone so badly? He had loved Tugger too. It should have worked, shouldn't it? If Tugger loved him, why did he neglect him like that when they were together? Why did he prefer the company of other cats over Misto's, why had he been unable to express affection? When he came out of his box again, the dawn was already breaking. He went home to sleep without going back to the clearing.

A sleepless day later and still no closer to a resolution, Misto went to the yard the next evening. When Tugger saw him, he got up to where he was playing with Jemima, so Misto immediately turned around to interrupt Victoria flirting with Plato.

"Vicky? Can I talk to you?"

She looked from Plato to him. "Um, sure. You don't mind, do you darling?"

"No, of course not." Plato seemed to be rather confused by Misto's urgency. He himself was a cat who was not too fond of long conversations and, as Victoria occasionally complained, liked to brood alone. When he was gone, Victoria cocked her head in silent inquiry. Misto dragged her a bit further away and related to her, in whispers, what he had heard the day before.

"I can't believe it!" she exclaimed immediately. "Are you sure that is what you heard?"

"Yes, of course! Tugger said he loved me and Munk tried to convince him that the feeling isn't mutual."

"So why did he behave like a bastard when you were together?"

"I don't know." Misto sighed. "But, you know, we were together after all."

"So what?"

"He had never been together with anyone before, had he?"

"No." Victoria looked thoughtful. "Wasn't it him who asked you?"

"Kind of. We had flirted a lot before." Misto smiled fondly at the memory.

*Flashback*

They had been lying comfortably sprawled over an old washing machine, Tugger laying half above Misto. They had just mated passionately, and Tugger was kissing Misto's neck in the afterglow. "Misto?"

"Yes?" He had been rather grumpy to be stirred to talking.

"Do you think we can make this more permanent?"

"Permanent? You mean, more often?"

"Not only that. Permanent as in being permanent mates?"

Tugger couldn't see Misto's happy smile of course, but Misto remembered clearly how warm he had suddenly felt. He had pushed back affectionately against Tugger. "Sure, that would be great." He was proud of himself for keeping his voice stable rather than shouting his joy.

*Flashback*

A nudge from Victoria brought him back into the present. "Even if he loves you and wanted you to be mates, he failed at it. Maybe love isn't enough."

"Yes." Misto looked at the ground miserably. He had heard that little gem from older cats so often – *sometimes love isn't enough*. He had never believed it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Despite what Victoria had said, he found himself approaching Tugger quite a while later, when the older cat was just about to walk over to Munk. He assumed to ask him to go and hunt for him. One little thing that Misto had overlooked and that his pride had forbidden him to rectify was that with Misto basically forcing him to stay at the yard during the time jellicles were active, he couldn't hunt anymore. Of course they mainly relied on their human can-openers for food, but most of them liked to hunt anyway.

"Tugger?"

"What is it?" Love or not, Tugger seemed irritated.

"Um, do you want come hunting with me?"

Tugger paused, turning fully to him. "Do I want to what?"

"Hunt mice? Or rats? Or whatever."

Tugger suddenly laughed. "Okay. Let's hunt whatever."

Misto ignored Munk's glare when they left the clearing together. As soon as they were out of range he cleared his voice again.

"I am sorry about forcing you to talk to Munk. I didn't mean it that way."

"Didn't mean to force me to confess to Munk?" There was some bitterness in Tugger's voice and Misto winced.

"Yes. I mean, I forgot I had said I could add like extra-demands ..:" Now he said it, it seemed every bit as silly as Munk had called it. "It was just my spontaneous thought I mean. Ordinarily people don't do what I tell them."

Tugger stopped to scrutinize him. "Okay, I believe you. Maybe it wasn't that bad, at least he knows now that I am not suffering from any after-effects of a spell or have lost my potency."

Misto acknowledged Tugger's attempt to light the conversation with a smile. "Yes, but it should have been up to you. Your relationship to your brother is none of my business really."

Tugger was silent for a while and they actually caught two mice, before Misto got up the nerve to ask the question he had been burning to ask, since Victoria brought it up.

"Tugger?"

"Yes?" Tugger was in a better mood now, chewing on his mouse.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course." Tugger swallowed the last bite and looked at him expectantly.

"Why … why did you ask me if we could be mates?"

"Why do you think I did? I wanted you to be my mate and the moment seemed as good as any."

"Yes, but why did you want me to be your mate?"

Tugger was silent for a while. "If I tell you, you have to tell me why you agreed. Deal?"

Misto gulped. "Deal."

Tugger was unable for a moment to decide whether to look straight at Misto or away and finally decided for looking straight at him. "Because I had fallen in love with you, of course."

Misto nodded, uncertain. A straight enough reason and exactly unexpected, but it didn't answer so many of his questions. Tugger growled when he remained quiet. "Your turn Misto. Why did you agree?"

"Because I felt the same."

Silence descended again.

"It could work, couldn't it?" Tugger finally asked and Misto wanted to believe he heard desperation there.

"I don't know" he said quietly.

"Misto it's been 15 bloody days. 15. And I did all you wanted me to do."

"Yes …" Misto agreed even more quietly. Tugger moved closer.

"Please Misto, tell me – is it so bad to think I might succeed?"

"I am just scared." Misto admitted.

"I won't force you to anything." Tugger reached out for him and Misto jumped back, his body reacting automatically while he was confused. Before he could recover, Tugger had retreated. "I'll be back at the yard ..:" Tugger said, practically racing away. Misto was left standing there, cursing himself.

Back at the yard, Misto was greeted by Plato much to his surprise. He couldn't remember having ever talked to Plato alone. But now he had practically been pushed into a corner by his sister's rather imposing mate.

"Um, is everything okay with Victoria?" he asked tentatively.

"Vicky is fine. She is trying to convince Etcetera and Jemima that Tugger isn't dying."

"What?"

Plato looked at him grimly – a look that he could pull off very well with those face marks of his.

"I know Vicky knows what is really wrong with him, but she won't tell me."

"What makes you think that?"

Plato growled quietly. "Don't think the rest of us are stupid, just because you are cleverer."

"I don't." Misto sighed in defeat. After all he was his sister's mate and he didn't want to cause a rift between them.

"Do you have anything to do with Tugger losing his personality?"

"Tugger losing his what?"

Plato rolled his eyes. "Tugger's personality practically collapsed. He used to be the centre of attention, taking us all in with his charisma and not least of all, he flirted with practically everyone. Now he is usually lying around by himself, is starting to become known for his witty rebuffs of any attempt of flirting and he rather talks even to Asparagus or Jenny than to any of the younger cats." He nodded to where Tugger was laying on top of a chair, back to the yard. "This is not the Rum Tum Tugger we know."

Misto looked down. "We had kind of a fight."

"You had a fight two months after the break-up and Tugger became depressed?"

"He isn't depressed!" Misto defended himself, although he didn't quite understand what he was defending himself against.

"What is it then? Is it true that he is impotent?"

"I don't think so."

Plato sighed. "It is actually none of my business, I know. I'd just like to believe that my mate's idolized brother hasn't done something bad."

"You and Victoria don't fight because of me, do you?" Misto asked, feeling very uncomfortable.

"Well, she walked away before it became a fight," Plato admitted. "I know she hated Tugger since before you two split up, but excuse me for observing that Tugger started acting like this after he actually asked you to talk to him."

"Yes it has something to do with that," Misto conceded. "But I am sure Tugger wouldn't want me to go around talking about it. I told Victoria and he is a bit angry about that."

Plato scoffed. "It doesn't take much to understand what is going on, for those of us who believe you were the one who broke up. You were, weren't you?"

Misto nodded, surprised. "You are the only one to believe that though," he added, a bit bitter.

"Well, you were the one who was withdrawing himself after the break, while Tugger just went on as before. You can't blame anyone for assuming that he dumped you."

"Maybe. Things were going really bad anyway, so it doesn't really matter who said the actual words."

"And yet he wants you back?" Misto jumped slightly at Plato's offhand remark.

"He always wants what he can't have."

Plato looked back to where Tugger was, still not facing the yard. Tugger's tail was twitching angrily though. He looked back to Misto. "That's all?"

Misto felt his anger nearly physically welling up. "Look, Plato I know you look up to him and all that, but I am not going to expose myself again to hurt and humiliation."

"What do you mean by humiliation?" Plato asked surprised.

"I meant the whole miserable time I was together with him. How would you feel, if Victoria found the company of every other cat more desirable than yours? Everyone knew we were supposed to be mates and could watch him having more fun with other cats. Don't tell me you didn't notice."

"I did," Plato admitted a bit sheepishly. "Okay, honestly, most cats pitied you a bit. But why is that so important? And now, he is exposing himself to humiliation, isn't he?" Plato asked. This was too close to hitting home, and Misto nodded unhappily.

"I see what I can do about it," he mumbled and walked away.

Now, what could he do about it? Looking about the yard he found it was one of those rare moments were Munkustrap was alone and he walked up to him, before he could think about. Munk saw him and looked very surprised, but he got up and approached Misto, looking a bit angry still.

"You want to talk to me, Misto?"

"Yes," Misto admitted, feeling a bit shy. "Err … it is about Tugger."

Munk looked up to his brother. "Good. Maybe you can explain what the hell you did now?"

Misto looked down. "Um, I am not quite sure, it's a bit complicated."

"Let's go for a walk then." Munk nodded to Alonso and marched ahead. Misto hurried to follow.

"I wanted to talk to him," Misto explained, apologetic tone coming automatically. "But I guess I messed that up."

Munk said something under his breath but composed himself. "What happened? He came back to the yard not looking at anyone. I hope nobody else noticed, but he looked ready to cry."

Misto bit on his lips. Why oh why had he gone to Munk? "He told me it could work if we try to be together again, I denied, he reached out for me and I jumped away. It was so unexpected, but he must have thought I was scared or disgusted, in any case he ran off –"He looked at Munk, trying to make him understand, but Munk looked grim. "How could I expect that, Munk? It isn't like Tugger to run away!"

"No it isn't. In case you hadn't noticed, he is not exactly his usual self."

"Yes." Misto winced. "I don't quite understand it."

Munk stopped. "YOU don't understand? You caused this!"

"Yes, but not on purpose! I didn't think he'd agree or even manage to do it for more than two days. He was supposed to give up!"

"You played around with his feelings, so you could feel like a winner? He still hopes you'll take him back!" Munkustrap pulled himself up to his full height, glowering down at Misto. "I tell you, Misto, you better …"

"Munk!"

Munk cursed as Tugger's call interrupted him. "What do you want?" he asked, as his brother was near enough to hear him without shouting. Tugger smiled.

"To make sure you don't bully Misto."

"Nice to see you got up at last."

"Yes, I was looking down just in time to see the two of you leaving."

"I came to Munk, you know," Misto supplied nervously. He didn't want Tugger to be angry at his brother. Tugger looked at him in surprise.

"You did? Why?"

Munk intercepted, before Misto could come up with a reply. "I leave you two to it."

Misto sat down on a tyre in defeat, watching Munk leave. After a moment's hesitation, Tugger sat down next to him.

"I worried about you," Misto admitted. "That's why I wanted to talk to Munk."

"You worried?"

"Yes. I am sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to react like that. I am not scared of you."

"I am sorry I tried to grab you." Tugger sighed quietly. "But what are you scared of, Misto? Why are you too scared to give me a second chance?"

"At being hurt again. Getting my hopes up and have them crushed again."

Tugger was silent. "When we were together, I didn't realize my behaviour hurt you. I …" He interrupted himself. "As I said, I thought about what happened. I know it could be better, if we tried."

"Plato just accused me that I was the cause of your personality collapse."

"He can be quite dramatic if he wants to be, can't he?"

"Yes. But he is right. And believe me, it is scary watching you disintegrate. I didn't want that."

"So what did you want?"

"Nothing really... I expected you to give up after a couple of days and everything would be back to normal."

"Why didn't you just tell me, there was no way you'd take me back? Do I not even deserve a straight answer?"

"You insisted. And you held me put." Misto added the last bit indignantly. Tugger sighed, shaking his head.

"You felt threatened? By me?"

Misto looked at him a bit puzzled. "Wasn't that the point?"

Tugger's voice went very soft. "Misto, you just needed to tell me to let you go. I tried to tell you countless times; I'd never force you to anything."

"Your actions seemed a bit different."

"When did I ever force you to do something?" Tugger asked hotly. At least he had recovered some spirit.

"Making me give you that bloody challenge?"

"I didn't mean to force you – or at least, I assumed that I was merely convincing you." Tugger amended his first exclamation a little bit when Misto seemed incredulous. Misto sighed.

"It backfired anyway, didn't it?"

"How?"

Misto hissed impatiently. "Do you think I wanted this? I told you, it is scary! 3 weeks ago, would you have run away from me, because I flinched away from you?"

"No." Tugger admitted. He sighed, looking down at his paws. "So what you are saying is you don't like me this way."

"No, I don't."

"There is no pleasing you." Tugger's voice became very bitter. "You didn't like my behaviour before, but when I change it also isn't good enough."

Misto looked to the entrance to the clearing, which was quite near. "I think we should go for that walk Munk intended, Tugger. This might get a bit long."

And, Misto realized, it was probably what they should have done two weeks ago. Or possibly two and a half months ago. Tugger nodded, getting up. "Shall we walk to my house? It's a nice walk."

Misto nodded and they were silent until Misto finally felt ready to answer Tugger. He had to swallow quite a bit of his pride to do it and silence all the voices inside which still insisted that Tugger was only feigning his bitterness and pain. "Tugger, I think I told you earlier, I had fallen in love with you and that's why I wanted to be with you. So why would you need to change for me?"

"Because you left me and told me I couldn't make you happy?"

Misto made a face, but couldn't think of anything to say. Luckily, Tugger could.

"Misto, I am not sure I should say that now, but I love you and you have no idea how miserable I felt when you told me, it's over. You didn't even wait for my reaction or tried to talk to me."


End file.
